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w8eeo

Posts: 2,219 Member Since: 10/04/08

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Feb 28 09 10:32 PM

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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem? "Ma'am," the officer replies, you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers. Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...Twenty-two miles an hour! "The old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time, "the officer asks. Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

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obieonekenobi

Posts: 56 Member Since:08/29/09

#1 [url]

Sep 1 09 3:23 PM

The phone rings at FBI headquarters:

"Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!"
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The  next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave.

The phone rings at the neighbors house:

"Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?"
"Yep."
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

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obieonekenobi

Posts: 56 Member Since:08/29/09

#2 [url]

Sep 1 09 3:24 PM

Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly. The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?". The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

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hamrelax

Posts: 35 Member Since:08/29/09

#3 [url]

Sep 12 09 5:15 PM

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't
escape and finally pulls over.
The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go."
The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"

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ferentz

Posts: 27 Member Since:08/29/09

#4 [url]

Sep 12 09 5:27 PM

A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.
The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner."
No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!"
Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction.
Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"
"Pretty good," replied the veteran, "especially since this is a bus stop."

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ash1

Posts: 20 Member Since:04/14/10

#5 [url]

Apr 15 10 5:55 PM

A Bad Day

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain.""Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.""But, officer, I just wanted to say,...""And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

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