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obieonekenobi

Posts: 56 Member Since: 08/29/09

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Sep 16 09 4:24 PM

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On day a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven.

God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven.

So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed.

The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed.

But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke.

God asked "Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet"

The blonde said "I know I just now got the first one!!!"

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ottrice

Posts: 39 Member Since:08/29/09

#1 [url]

Sep 18 09 3:31 AM

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

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america1

Posts: 40 Member Since:08/29/09

#2 [url]

Sep 18 09 6:13 PM

A bunch of blondes walk into a restaurant celebrating and chanting "28 days, 28 days, it only took us 28 days!!"

Everyone was wondering what took them 28 days and why they were celebrating. Finally, when the blondes were about to leave, a waitor goes up and asks "What took you 28 days, why are you celebrating??"

All the blondes say "We just finished a puzzle in 28 days and on the box it said 3-6 years!!!"

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america1

Posts: 40 Member Since:08/29/09

#3 [url]

Sep 18 09 6:14 PM

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
A. Run like hell cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.

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enigma685

Posts: 1,325 Member Since:12/07/08

#4 [url]

Apr 29 11 6:14 PM

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explained. "And today is the happiest day in her life." The child thought about this for a moment. "So why is the groom wearing black?"

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snowyday

Posts: 5 Member Since:09/21/15

#5 [url]

Sep 21 15 10:37 PM

Two blondes their apartment is on fire and they open the window and one yells Helppp helppp and the other yells help me please help me
One says to the other.. maybe it would be better if we yelled together?
The other say okay and start yelling "together, together"

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Pinstripe

Posts: 51 Member Since:01/26/16

#6 [url]

May 10 16 12:03 AM

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde get lost in the desert. They come upon a genie bottle, rub it and out comes the genie. He says " I usually give out 3 wishes to 1 person, but since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish. The brunette says "I wish I was home with my brothers and sisters". POOF....she was home. The redhead says "I wish I was home with my husband". POOF....she was home. Then the blonde says "I really miss my friends, I wish they back here with me".

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